I just realized that I complain a lot recently, mostly about work.
For almost every weekend, especially Sunday, I have been complaining because I need to go back to work on Monday.
Maybe my house mate and my friends are getting bored of this, listening to my murmur every week. LOL!
So, I promise myself, I won't grumble about my work or saying 'lazy to work' from now on.
Even though I don't have a good mood, I will keep my complaint for myself.

My mom starts to run her hobby again.
She just got back from Singapore and bought a new oven from there.
Hence, recently, she bakes and starts to cook again....
Believe me, this time, she bakes or cooks almost every day.
Not only on the weekend but on the weekdays also.
I wonder how she can do that cos in fact she was always busy with her work previously.
She was always in front of computer, doing work before.
But now? Can even bake on weekdays? Not tired anymore after coming back from work? Hmmmm....

Even few days ago, I called her after few weeks we haven't talked and I expected that she would be excited when I called.

It turned out that my dad answered the phone and said that my mom was in the kitchen and will call me back instead. Few minutes later, she called me, I thought she finished with the baking cos my dad told me before it was in finishing process already.

But, guess what?
She called me... talked to me few minutes... when I was about to tell my stories for several weeks... she said to me 'I can only talk for a while cos I need to go back to the kitchen.'

--"

I asked straight away 'But I thought dad said it's finished already'.
Her: 'Finish 1 part, need to do others. hehehe... Sorry ya... ttyl. Bye.'
Me: no comment

I was pissed off that time, but after a while I am thinking that well maybe it's a good thing also.
Cos I never see her so excited before doing something, so if this baking and cooking thing can make her happy... yahhh, I will sacrifice my 'ngobrol-time' with her to allow her doing her hobby.

Happy baking, Mom! ^^

Love this song at the moment.
Well, love his songs all. hehehehe...

It all makes sense. LOL!

Is it possible to like someone that you don't know?
You don't even know his name, his friends, his background or what so ever.

Is it like a high-school crush or a fling that you will forget as time goes by?
Or am I crazy because of this feeling and because of I still hope that someday I will be able to know him?
Do I hope for something impossible?
I know he is too far and too impossible to reach.
In fact that it's too hard to get to know him when he doesn't even see or care if I am exist.

But, when I gave up and think that it's only my daydream, I met him again accidentally.
However, if I wish to meet him, I will never see him.

I guess I am getting crazy!

Have you ever experienced that you hate the guilty feeling because of someone; hence you choose to avoid and not really got involved with her/him?

I do!
Especially when you do not expect or know anything and suddenly... bam!
Everything is just like your fault and if it turns out that you really take part on the mistake happened, you like it or not you need to admit it.
A case when you know that he/she will be mad at you or at least pissed off for a while but they don't say it in front of you (which is worst). And you know it's not (really) all of your fault and even you can just forget or don't care about it, in fact you will think about it as you know exactly what kind of person he/she is. When everyone said to you to not to think about it as it's not really your problem and when they said to you to try not too afraid of her/him just because he/she is easy to mad.

And I really hate that feeling!
I don't know what exactly I am afraid of but I hate being compared.
I hate feeling guilty.
I hate to be too care or I can say afraid instead of caring?!
I hate to always compete with her/him.
I hate when even I do or wear or buy or whatever something accidentally and not in purpose, it is similar with her/him.

So, instead of I am being compared or I compare myself to her/him,
instead of I feel guilty because he/she thinks that I might try to be like him/her, I start to avoid him/her.
I start to put distance and start not to too get involved.

*sighhh