Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts
For Good?
Life is getting so depressing for me at the moment.
Doing nothing is suffering for sure.
Maybe I am crazy, but for now, I can't wait to go back to Indo.
I booked my seat yesterday from my 1-year return ticket, and it will be next month.
Sounds so close, but for me it's like 100 years.
Sad? Of course. I will leave my friends here and leave what I've been familiar with in the past 6 years... ohhh almost 7 actually.

But I believe this is the best for me now, I need change, I need new environment, I need to find my passion, I need my best friends and of course my boyfriend.

Besides excited, I am scared too. Deep down in my heart, I am afraid that if I can't do well when I am back there. What if I can't find any job? 
What if I find a job that I don't like again? 
What if I don't like the environment in the end?
What if I can't stand the traffic and the country itself?
I really want to start and open something that I like but everything is not that easy.
I am confused too if I should stay in my hometown or really move to Jakarta.

Either way, I wish I can go back now or even few months earlier cos I feel I am wasting my time here by doing nothing. In Indo, everything is much easier especially to start something new.
However, one day, I still hope that I can go back to Melbourne as I love this city so much.
Even tho Indonesia is my birth country, living in a country that follows rules where everything is so clear and organised is beyond everything.
You find peace which you can't get in Indo.

Anyway, that's it for now. Looking forward to it next month.
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Grateful
I am in the middle of nowhere at the moment.... of my life.
I am confused for what I want, am trying to find my identity.
I am trying to look for what I am capable of and what I should do for a living, for future.
And with all the problems in it, happens to me or to anyone who is related to me,
I sometimes think that 'why I don't have a life like her/him', 'why I don't have a job like them' or anything that human can think of a jealousy.

Thus, I look at my surroundings again, not too far, started from my close friends....
then I realize I am still a lucky person. At least I have everything I want so far, most of my plans work smoothly til now and I still live my life adequately.

There is a friend said to me one night, "You need to live your life 100%, either you have a job or not, either you are happy or not, either you have money or not, either you are in problem or not... I know it's not like you choose your life to be miserable but it is a life from God, you've been given a chance to live so if you do it 100%, you will find a way and you'll be helped."

Well, I am not a very very religious person but when he said that to me, I was like 'Dammit, it goes to my heart and to my mind!' It's maybe true cos what I do til the previous second is just complaining.

So for what I have and for my life, I'm grateful. I thank God and I will always be.

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Have you?
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The Wedding of Ogi and Novi
Novi said, "People said you don't marry the person you can live with but marry the person you can't live without. And for me it's him, Ogi."

Happy wedding to Ogi and Novi!
It was a pleasure for me to attend your wedding and to witness this lifetime event.
Such an intimate, warm and tearful wedding.
Love the ambiance, the place, the food, the ceremony, the reception and everything...

Our wishes and prayers are with you :)





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Coffee and U

*pic is taken from Rica's Instagram
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One Week
Missing him
Lucky, he is coming next week
Can't wait to see you my dear :)

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Reason to Laugh

*picture is taken from here
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I thank You
Thank You for his presence in my life (:


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The Feel of Home
Hosh hosh...
Been away from the Internet for a while.
Travelled much, tired much, got sick much.

I've been getting flu for almost 2 weeks and it's still here in my body until now.
Haven't recovered completely.
Well, no wonder as I've been hanging around to many places instead of having a full bed rest like a flu person should do ;p

Anyway, I went to Malaysia last week and then stayed in Jakarta for few days before heading back to my lovely hometown again.
Lovely? Hmmmm....

After visiting some places, staying in few countries recently, spending the night in hotels and also in my friend's house....
I realize that nothing can beat the feel of home.
And where is mine?
At first, I thought, going back to my hometown is my version of home. 
Or deep inside my heart, I hope I can also feel home in Jakarta.
Apparently, you can't lie to your heart.
I still leave my heart in Melbourne.

Even tho I admit that Melbourne is getting bored and quiet but the feeling of home is just perfect there.
Or maybe because I've stayed in that city too long.
Or maybe that I haven't settled or have my own place in Jakarta nor any job to do.
Or maybe I have no more freedom when I am back to my hometown.

Anything is possible here... but for sure, I miss my Melbourne's life.
For sure, I need to adapt as soon as possible where ever I go in the future... soon.
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Missing You


It's not even 2 months yet since I left Jakarta, but.... T-T

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Happy Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to my boyfriend....


I wish you all the best!
Wish I was there accompanying you to celebrate this special moment.
Well, no need to be sad... it's a special day indeed for you.
Turning 25 is different... like your friend said, it's quarter of a century.
Maybe somehow u'll feel older? Let say more mature not older :)

Okay, time for wishes. My wishes for you... 
Simple.
Hope everything works well for you from today onwards (life, job and love).
Hope you'll always be healthy in every way.
Hope you'll love your family more and more everyday and be close with them always.
Hope every plans that you make will be accomplished.
Hope you will be a better person starting from this special age.
And hope all your wishes come true!

Last but not least, hope you'll love me more :p

Enjoy your day, birthday boy!
Enjoy the cake and the simple small slim blue thing from me.
Hugs and kisses from here >.<

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Missing You
I miss my boyfriend.
And the fact that I do nothing at office atm and have no work to do makes me missing him more :(
Can't wait for March to come :)

*taken from instagram

*taken from Pinterest
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True Friendship
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What is Love?
Love will eliminate the imbalances and different degrees of feelings seen during like.
It's unconditional or bust.
You can't kind of love a person and they can't sort of love you.
You just love each other wholeheartedly, which so much easier.
Everything can be removed from the bag of blemishes, all the gas can be passed and nothing changes.
Now that's a true of beauty.
It may not smell too good, but it's certainly a beautiful thing to see.

*taken from Thought Catalog
Read more here
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Memory in August
August...
It's a month that always makes me remembering him.
Even though everything is not present anymore,
Even though I have left it in the past.

But... those memories.
That one night specifically.
The night when his arms was everything,
the night when he slept like a baby while I couldn't sleep,
the night when he suddenly woke up after midnight,
the night when he thought I was sleeping,
he tightened his arms on me and kissed my forehead softly.
The night that I felt so loved.

Maybe I can forget everything about us,
but I will always remember that night.

today, this year's August has come to the end,
and I should really start making new memory :)

pic taken from here

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For Someone You Love
A quote said that we want a person we love to be happy, even if their happiness means that he will be with someone else and you are not part of it.

Now, when I see them together... I can finally say 'I wish you both happiness and be together forever' :))
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At Night 'til in the Morning
Damn, I miss u!



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Kalau Saling Suka....
"Jika keduanya saling suka, makan keduanya akan saling usaha.
Kalau cuma kamu yang usaha, berarti dia gak suka.
Simple."

- Mario Teguh
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A Friend Told Me....

A friend told me, 'If you really move on from the past, from the bad things happened or from the person you used to love, God will know and you will find and will get something or someone better. For sure...'

and I am here... trapped in the past.
So, what should I do so I can move on?

Maybe my friend is right. What she said is all makes sense.
Until now, I always think that if I get something or someone to fill or replace the past first then I will be able to forget and move on.
But, it won't be fair... for them or for myself because I just use them as a rebound.

Usually people cannot move on because the feeling is still there... in the heart.
But my case, I have erased most of them from my heart.
It's my head... the problem. My mind!
Maybe it's too many memories but maybe I am wrong.
Maybe I still have the feeling in my heart? Maybe somehow I still put a hope on it? Maybe I am still not willing to let it go?
CRAP!
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Forgiving and forgiveness is a process n isn't easy. As like other processes, it takes time. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, it's remembering but letting it go.
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