I know....
I think about it too
I know the situation
I know what happened
I know the consequences
I know what to do

But, somehow... it just hurts
I don't know why
And I just want to cry
I know it's not worthed
Just for today
Let me cry...
Hmmmm.... Sexy move, great dance, excellent body, pretty face. Perfecto!

Do you want to see what my friends did in my birthday?
I didn't even see my face before, I just saw my picture this morning because they uploaded to Facebook.

And I just realized that my birthday, every year, my face is not right. hahaha...
My face is always scary or ugly or what ever but clean.
Thank you for that, friends... ;p

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. 
- Marilyn Monroe -
We never went to photo booth before in almost our 4 years life in Melbourne and last week we decided to go for it. And... it was so fun! hahahaha.... I think we are growing younger mentally, not older. LOL!

Quite cute, huh? :p

Okay, I don't where and how to start.
What I am feeling lately, I am actually enjoying the days.
I had graduation ceremony and my birthday, as well as job to do so it keeps me busy,
but still I can't get rid of it.

It's about him.
The most unpredictable guy I've ever met... really...
So random, strange, harsh but can be so kind, friendly and sweet too.
The fact that he is smart and manly makes him more attractive.
What the hell, right?
I am just be able to figure it out lately because I've been watching and caring for him lately,
and it's just because of some of my friends praise him so I am curious whether it's right or not.
Maybe I shouldn't do that because it's just... I don't know, something is not right.
We shouldn't be like this, nope... I should't be like this.
I shouldn't have this feeling,
I shouldn't start seeing him from different view,
I shouldn't observe him,
I shouldn't care for him... ever,
I should stay still on the way I used to be and everything should be the same like before.
But, it's not. Everything is changed I guess....

Because now, I have jealousy...
For him... yeah for him...
Sometimes, I entertain myself by telling that they are texting each other every day every time except when they sleep, because he feels comfortable with her and he likes to speak and do something with her because she likes things that are challenging so they can do some crazy things together. Also, because of my best friend who is also his best friend said to me that he's an unusual person. He won't fall for a girl that he's already comfortable with, he's not that type of person. If he's been talking with a girl for a long time, for everything, he won't be in a relationship with her. So, it makes me calm... sometimes but I am close to him as well so I am talking to him too, so?? Hehhh??

The worst part is one of my guy friends which is my 'that (referring to my best friend above)' best friend's boyfriend (read slowly if you get confused) said to me "If you do like or love someone, then you will at least put effort on her/him. You won't just leave her/him, you are willing to stay close to her/him. You won't be just satisfied by talking to her/him once, you want to stay in touch."

Ohhhh.... nooo! That words, that time, from his mouth went through my ears, absorbed to my head, transfered to my brain, get analyzed and gave me a great shock. Of course I was because it means that I really entertain myself for giving me a fake hope. STUPID!

I have no idea what I should do now.
I have no idea how he looks at me now.
It's not that he avoids me or stays back from me,
even sometimes he flirts with me, but I know it means nothing for him.
He often done that since I knew him.
How am I be able to stay away from him then?
Practically, I am close to him and we're in the same circle of friends so we meet often.

See? I should never see or interested in him.... at all!
Especially that he used to be my best mate.
Last Friday, I had a birthday party of a friend. While I waited for them to come, I went to Borders and read some random magazines. In one of them, I read the horoscope part and looked for my horoscope, which is Scorpio. And.... because this month, October is actually Scorpio's month, the magazine revealed more about Scorpio rather than other zodiacs. The horoscope said:

Honest, sensitive and genuine, you can always be counted on in times of trouble and encourage friends to be themselves.
Dislikes insincerity, being told what to do, butt kissers, girlie romcoms and bullies.
Goth glamor. You rock frocks from floor length to polka-dot - gloves, sleek hair and red lips and nails.

The question is.... AM I ?!

Then... today, just now, I randomly opened a horoscope application in Facebook for this week. It said (Sorry, it is in Indo):

Pada umumnya kamu panjang akal, pendiam, pendendam, gigih, tekun. Anda sedang tertarik dengan seseorang, tapi jangan mengejarnya. Biarkan dia yang berusaha untuk mendekati anda. Di sisi pekerjaan, anda sedang menikmati kerja keras itu. Meski anda dicap pemalas, buktikan pada atasan anda adalah pekerja keras.

My comment: Not bad, but WHAAATTTT? My colleagues consider me as a lazy person? How come?? Hmmm... Maybe I should work harder starting tomorrow. And, the interesting part is 'Anda sedang tertarik dengan seseorang, tapi jangan mengejarnya. Biarkan dia yang berusaha untuk mendekati anda' -> English: You are currently attracted to someone, but don't go for him, let him chase you instead.
SO TRUE!! hahahaha... And before I read this, I was about to text him to ask where he is. What a coincidence! ;p

Let's wait and see then... Just wish, pray and hope!
Ah.. I can't help to not to post these graduation photos. Love love love it so much... hehehehe....
I am pretty sure that it was one of the best day in my life, gave me so much memories that I will always remember for the rest of my life.

Surrounded by lovely families and friends.
Occurred at the time I do not need to concern about other things.
Felt so free and happy (:

I think I just ruined everything
I don't know what I did
In fact, I don't know why I did that
Stupid me!
Now, only regret left
I guess, everything won't be the same now.

*pic from here
Yeayyy.... I am back on blogger.
I had my graduation ceremony. Finally... I have been waiting for this. hehehehe....
It was fun and tiring because I was working in the next day and the ceremony just started at 8pm - 10pm. You can guess that after the ceremony, me, my family and one of my friends went for dinner. hahaha.... So late!

My parents were here for 6days therefore I don't have any time to blog. I went to some places on weekend and still work on weekdays. Besides, now I don't really have time to blog in work place. Now, I know my colleagues' feeling. Why are they so stressed and depressed. But, so far... it's fine. I still can handle it, in fact sometimes we receive really interesting and funny call from some clients :)

Not much update though.... Just see the pics below ;p

It was really really one of the best days in my life.
Big thanks to my parents and all of my friends that came for me and for the presents as well. So happy! >.<

Melbourne's weather was so nice last weekend. Of course me and my friends didn't waste it away. We basically just hang around city enjoying the sun. Ate a lot, took many pictures, smiled a lot and prayed a lot.

Well, here are some pictures of us :)

This is why I love Melbourne so much ^^
The reason I created these looks is I saw a woman few days ago when I was on the way back home. Her appearance is so appealing and I couldn't help to not to look at her from up to down and down to up. Huh...
She wore a set of black pants and blazer, as well as the high heels (min 7cm). She brought black Prada bag in her shoulder and was busy with her phone that time. Ah, almost forgot! The most attractive side was her hair, ponytail. Sexy ponytail! My God! I am such a stalker. hahaha....

So, I created these looks. I used polyvore and looklet. hehehehe... I promise myself, one day, soon... I will be able to dress like her. I will be able to wear elegant offices clothes. I will be able to shop for it. I will be able to fund myself, completely and perfectly including my shopping needs. LOL!

Of course it won't be just the looks. I will be what I want. I will achieve my goals. I will get the position I dream of. I have to be perfectly capable in dealing with clients. I will be in the meeting with a lot of ideas in my head, doing presentation with members and clients. One day, I will be worthy to wear those suits :)

Hahahahahaha.... This picture is quite funny! Is it real or not? Well, I don't care. I just want to post it ;p

Here I am doing nothing again in the office. Tomorrow is my last day for training. Once I start dealing with client, I guess I won't be able to blog in the office again ;p

Well, I can say that today is really a boring day. There is only few things for me to do. I just went through a short-time training about html and webIRESS, some of the company's products. Moreover, I just went through a mini test about it and I went to database training which is kind of useless because the trainer told me the same information as before.Now, I finished my test already, even though I don't know whether the answers are correct or not. My manager just told me that she can't go through the answers today because she's so busy and one of my colleagues is not coming to work. So, she asked me to play around with the products by myself which means I will do facebook-ing, twitter-ing, blogging until I bored. hahahahaha... It's not because I don't want to play around with the products, it is just too bored. I think everything will start after I deal with the client directly. At the moment, I just learn, learn and learn theories. You can imagine how bored it is!

Sometimes, I feel guilty as well if I do many useless things because I look at my colleagues, they are all so busy and stressed. I predict that I will be one of them within 1 or 2 weeks. By the way, there were some funny things happened this afternoon. One of my colleagues, Cathy went to lunch break and when she came back, she showed us that she bought 2 pairs of earring. She said, "I am so stress. I need to go shopping to relax myself a bit." Hahahahaha... Well, I almost answer her, even though I am not stress I will always go shopping. Too bad!

Another funny thing happened is one of my colleagues, Marie received a call from a client. The client asked about something and Marie asked for his name. I guess he was going to spell his name and he said, "It's A for You, ... and *silent." Marie couldn't help to not to laugh and then she said, "Was it Y for You?" and the client said yes. After she hung up the phone, she told us what happened and she said, "I clearly heard and remembered that he said A for You not Y for You. Hahahaha... " Stupid but funny!

*pic is from here
I am in the office right now, doing nothing.
It's still my lunch break time but I finished eating already and I can't help to blog. hahahaha...

Lately, last weekend, some things happened. Well, they were not all good, but it wasn't really bad as well. Personally, whatever happens, whether good or bad, I will always love October. hehehehe.... Especially this year, I'm going to have my graduation ceremony soon. October is also my month because it's my birthday month. Moreover, I'm officially having my full-time job. This makes me loving October more. I don't know why too, but I always get excited if October comes. hmmmm....

This year, this month, I believe that something good will happen. I hope and I wish all of my wishes come true.