Have you ever felt empty?
Do you know what emptiness looks like?

For me...
Emptiness is I am now.
I feel so empty. New year is coming and it reminds me of something...

I have no one.
I know I have friends and families here with me.
But, inside.. I feel nothing.

I asked myself...
How come I feel and live OK few years ago when I don't have any boyfriend as well?
And even I was not this crumbly when I broke up the first time.
I think I know the answer.
Last time, the case was different.
We were not suited each other. We had so many differences, always liked something different, couldn't even share something each other, and maybe that time our age was so young and we weren't mature enough.
But, this time... everything is different. I think we were OK. But, I guess I was wrong.

Moreover, I didn't have time to struggle with that last time.
I had to go to Melbourne to study and it went so well.
I like it and I enjoy it. I have many friends as well.
Besides, I just realized that there was someone who always there beside me.
Cared about me, shared with me, spent time with me that time. For almost 1 and half years.
But he was not my boyfriend. We were just... best friends, more than friends actually but not boyfriend. hahaha...
I wished we could be more than friends that time, but I know we can't and it hurted.
He just wanted to be friends and I'm OK with it.
So I become his best friend. But I felt sometimes he still act like more than friend for me.
He still cared for me...
That was why I don't feel empty eventough I have no one officialy in my heart.

Then.. I met him (my last boyfriend)
and I'm changed.
I gave up my best boy friend and I told him that I had someone already.
So I really want to be only friend, not less not more. And we went well as friends.
I thought that was the right decision, because I thought my boyfriend and I were going to be OK for long time.
Huh...

But it happened, we aren't together anymore...
So here I am now.. feel empty.
Because I have no one inside my heart now.
Even I still have many friends as well, I have a lot to do, I have many things to make me forget it.
But, it's still different. I always think about it again at night when I am going to bed.
And it hurts more... because I already planned many activities for special events before I went back.
Christmas, New Year, Valentine, and many other casual activities. Great!!!

I can't even delete all of our pictures and memories.
I think I am more stupid and pathetic than empty now!
Damn! And I don't know why I wrote my feelings into this blog.

Well, I guess I'm just... sharing, nothing more, that's it. hehe..
MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND 
HAPPY NEW YEAR
EVERYONE


HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY!
MAY THE LORD BLESS US ALWAYS
^^
Semakin deket lulus bachelor, semakin bingung jugalah diriku. hahahaha...

Do I need to take master?
Dulu sih aku gak pernah mikir mau ambil master,
ngliat cc and koko and temen2 pada ambil master aku juga gak pengen.
Tapi, setelah di Indo bbrp minggu ini...
and ngeliat sikon sekarang...
Apa aku perlu ya ambil master?
Other reason, kemarin pas les bikin kue ada 1 cowok gt, kakak kelas itungannya,
dia cerita kalau jaman sekarang master tuh perlu.
Di Jakarta, lulusan s1 cuma dianggep kaya lulusan SMA. Is it true?
Tapi di lain sisi, aku juga sering denger kalau ketinggian degree gak bagus juga.
Kan ada tuh company yang ga mau hire orang yg degree nya tinggi2, gak kuat bayar juga.
Aku juga liat tmn2ku yg cuma lulusan s1 juga bisa dapet kerja kok di Jakarta dengan gaji yang lumayan juga.

Aaaaaaa.... bingung deh!
Jadi deh aku ngomong2 sama mama, mama sih bilang aku harus ambil S2. fiuhhh...
Actually, I don't mind sih.. paling jg jadinya belajar lagi. Cape juga.. wakakka... tp master cm 1 1/2 th, tanggung juga kalau dilepas. Udah ditawarin juga sama kampusku, Monash, buat ambil honours or master. Gak semua orang juga ditawarin, sayang gak sih? hehe..

Lebih2, gara2 peraturan PR di Australia berubah which is more difficult for me...
emang bagus sih kalau aku ambil master. Jadi aku bisa apply PR sama master, pas aku selesai master harusnya PR ku juga bakal diproses. Soalnya peraturan sekarang, kalau gak ad prioritas apa2, application buat PR bakal diproses by the end of 2011. Bikin susah aja... kalau gak kan plan ku yang dulu bisa dijalanin. huhuhu...

Pusing 7 keliling deh...
Gimana ya? Mahal juga sih kalau master.
Tapi kalau master, master apa ya?
Pengennya sih master of business.
Pengen business soalnya kan aku udah ambil IT, nah kalau hbs itu ak perdalam business kan good combination. hahaha... Iya gak sih?
Tapi, business aja tipe nya banyak bgt.
Kmrn udah liat2 course nya di Monash sm Melbourne Uni.
Melb uni gak bisa, karena kebanyakan perlu work experience buat ambil master. Mahal banget juga di Melb Uni.
Tapi emang aku lebih prefer Monash kalau buat business secara business nya Monash no.1 di Australia.

Pengen juga ambil master di tempat lain. Pengen ke Canada.. aaaaaaaa!!
Tapi nantinya bakal susah kalau mau balik lagi ke Melbourne, PR nya gak mungkin dapet deh kalau gt. Udah gt kalau aku ambil di luar Australia gak mungkin bisa langsung mulai bulan Juli besok, pasti harus tunggu nilai bla bla bla... which is nilai final ku kan baru keluar July itu. And graduation ceremony ku baru Oktober, masa iya kalau mulai master July di tempat lain aku balik lg ke Melb bulan Oktober buat graduation? huahahaha... Untung2 kalau pas gak ujian. So, ya udah deh... Melb lg aja. I love Melbourne as well. wakakakak...

Masalahnya sekarang yang bisa aku ambil itu cuma Master of business sama Master of International Business for business course lho... itu aja yang gak perlu work experience. Kayanya sih... soalnya aku juga gak mau kalau ambil course nya banyak accounting, orang gak banyak pengalaman di accounting. hehehe... Kalau ambil IT... Yahhh, masa IT lg? Haiz.. susah ya pilih course aja. haha... Kalau IT banyak sih, soalnya aku kan dr IT degree juga. But, still.. I can not take all types of IT courses. Tapi menurutku rada2 gak penting kalau ambil master IT, apalagi yg related sama major ku. huhuhuhu... Tambah bingung, deh...

Bakal cari2 info terus nih pas besok balik Melb, perpanjang visa juga kalau mau master. Repotnya!! hahaha... Harus cepet juga bikin keputusan biar bisa mulai master right after I finish my degree in July so I can graduate Master by the end of 2011. Kenapa cepet2? Biar waktu umur 22 udah slsai master. hehe.. kan lumayan... buat pegangan, moga2 juga pas itu udah dapet PR juga. Jadi kalau aku mau ambil bahasa di China gampang, gak repot2 urus2 lagi kalau mau balik Melbourne habis itu. hehehe...
Susah ya hidup itu? Belum nanti urusan cari kerja. Mateng2....

Sekarang cuma bisa do my best and pray to God ^^
Huahhhh...
Long time not blogging.. hehe..
I was so busy this week.
Have so many activities and works to do. Hahaha.. Sounds so snuffy ;p

For me, there are many advantages by having many things to do. But still, there is something.. not nice? like very tired and sometimes it makes you confused. haha..

So, first thing.. I joined a small cake making course. hmm.. Maybe you who know me will say "What the hell? You?" hahahahaha... But I did. I started last Tuesday and finished just today :)
It was so interesting. So fun... and so tired as well. We were taught to make many kinds of cake, starting from pound cake, sponge cake and chiffon cake. I'll explain about it in another post. hehe.. Cos it's too long ;p

Second thing, I went to dentist last Wednesday to do whitening. haha..
The doctor said it only takes 1hour, but it is actually 3 hours for me --"
And you know what should I do? Yes, I only need to sit in the chair but then I felt like my mouth is cracked. fiuhhh... I don't know why I always feel scared whenever I go to the dentist, since I was child. Lucky I don't need to go to the dentist often. hehehe... OK, back! Yeah, so after sitting in 'that' chair, I start to say to myself "Relax.. it won't be hurt!"

It is not hurt actually, but when that thing is put in my mouth... Oh my God! I feel so uncomfortable, hurt, and ugly. huahahaha.. I know you are confused what is 'that' thing. But, I don't even know the name. It is a thing to make you mouth stay open, and it will show all your teeth. And I have to wear it for 3 hours. swt... I felt can't move and feel my mouth after that. Then, it's not finished yet... There were so many devices that got into my mouth. I didn't know what their function one by one, but I knew one for sure that was used to absorb your saliva. hahaha... Not hurt.. but can you imagine if many unknown medicine utensils come into your mouth?? Even it is not hurt, I will still feel scared. The worst thing was when the protector for my gum was gone already, I felt agony in my gum and in my teeth. I really want to take all the tools out and run away from there. huhuhu... And I can't eat anything that has colour in it, like rawon, soto, chili, tea, coffee, chocolate, etc for 24 hours. Basically, I was just allowed to eat rice and white bread and water. haha... So sad...
But, everything needs sacfrice. Thanks God I can hold until it ended.

In my 20years life, this is the first time I went to dentist that I can really feel and remember it. Last time I went to dentist is when I was 7 or 8 years old, can't even remember it exactly. Now, I hope I won't go to dentist anymore. But, I don't think that is possible because I just know that we need to go to dentist at least once in 6 months to clean all the tartar. Fiuhh.. too bad! Still long time to go tough. haha.. The most important I got what I want and I can still enjoy any type of food now ^^

Eits.. not finished yet.
Third one, I have an online shop selling clothes, bags and accessories. hehe.. Just started when I was in Indo cos I thought I will have nothing to in 3 months so I decided to make an online shop in facebook :)
The goods are from Korea, Japan and Hong Kong. Thanks God again it is going well. Many customer attracted. hehe.. But, that makes my day become busier. I have to online often to check is there any comment or request, etc. It's nice tough because I like it. hehe..

Last one, I still have to do my diet because I still need to reduce 5 more kg to become slim. huhuhu... So I need to exercise at least once in a day, like treadmill or swimming. Sometimes, I think when that day will come? The day when I don't need to do more diet. hahahha.... So those reasons make my week so busy, good enough to make me stop blogging for a while huh? hehehe...
Lagi seneng sama lagu ini nih...
Gak tahu kenapa..
Liriknya mgungkin.
Bagus aja, terus rasanya gimana gt dengerin sama baca liriknya.
Lebay nih aku kayanya. wakakakak...

If I Were A Boy lyrics

Songwriters: Carlson, Britney; Gad, Toby; Knowles, Beyonce;

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
I got a present from my best friends few weeks ago.
It is actually before I went back to Indo.

So happy...
I got a sunglass, Armani one. hehe..
I like it since I saw it.
I planned to buy it before I went back to Indo that day..
but there is no stock in Armani store in city, so I just think that maybe I wasn't allowed to buy it. hahaha...

But then.. lucky I haven't bought it. hihi..
Thanks a lot guys!! ^^

Wanna see the picture? hohoho..
Sorry, agak narsis nih. hehehe.. ;p
I'm going to wear it for sure in Bali tomorrow...


Ups, my sister is there.. just half.. Doesn't matter ;p

It's December 1st...
a good day to start
a good month to start
but today is a hard day for me.

And now...
I'm in the 'love' mood... and in the 'sad' mood.
So here are some quotes about heart, love and I think most of them are sad. hahaha...
But, I promise this feeling will only stay for today..
no more..
I promise I will really really move on this time!

  • I truly believe that some­times both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning. 
  • One of the SUCKIEST and most FRUSTRATING facts of life is that sometimes rela­tionships just end, often without reason.
  • We're afraid of the unknown pain - fear of never finding love again, fear of being alone, fear of thing being different.
  • Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as "disposable" is NOT worthy of your time or tears.
  • Some things happen for a reason and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is. But sometimes you ignored it.
  • Don't envy the one you admire most, instead, try to make yourself one that can be envied.
  •  Don't cry when the sun is gone because the tears wont let you see the stars.
  • There’s only a single truth behind every heartache: Love hurts when God knows we deserve someone else.
  • No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cant fully love you in return...these feelings mean nothing.
  • Cut them off. Let them miss you!
  • Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision.
  • Just remember that the person u are getting back together with is the same person who told you that they're no longer in need of ur company.   
  • If the person you love not doing anything to get you, they may love you and may miss you, but ultimately they're just not that into you.
  • A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.
  • Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.
  • Real love, I’ve learned, is a very, very strong form of forgiveness. 
  • If you think I’ve given up on you, you’re crazy. And if you think I don’t love you, then you’re just wrong. (I wish I can do this... hahahaha.. ). OK2! Remember my promise!
  • Your love is special when you follow only your heart- not reason, not "rules", not what other people say. 
  • Once you have something you want.. that's when you have something to lose. 
  • Love is a two-sided issue: Just as it can give one the greatest ecstasy, it can cause one the greatest pain.
  • I know you think we can't be together, but can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision? (hahahahaha.. I really like this one)  
  • The only person that deserves to have you, is the one that thinks that they dont.
  • I've come to realize guys are like drugs, either they'll kill you or give you the most amazing high of your life.
  • It isnt how u forget but how u forgive,not how u listen but how u understand,not what u see but how u feel,not how u let go but how u hold on.
  • What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.    
  • Things don't happen for no reason, they happen to teach you something. 
  • Say goodbye but never say hello again. Forget but never regret.Pick the pieces up but never fix them. Feel the pain but never keep it. Move on! 
  • Calling the one who dumped you doesn't make it better.. it only pulls you back into the cycle of heartbreak. MOVE ON. 
  • Believe that someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you've always wanted...
A lot yeah?? Just for today.....
So at last I want to say....
Your day may be hectic, your schedule may be tight, but take time to sleep & have a sweet dream! Goodnight everyone!

NB: Quotes are taken from http://twitter.com/TheLoveStories
I just got shocked because of one of my friends.
He is actually my ex's friend as well.

I asked him a question about my ex right after when we broke up because I hope I can get any information from him. And the fact is he got it but he didn't want to tell me.
He said that the reason is if he told me the situation can be changed, better or worse.
Moreover, he consider that it is kind of privacy to keep that from me.
But, he asked me to ask him again when the situation already calms down.. like few more days later.
So I asked him just now which is 1 more week later and he finally told me...

He said that when he asked my ex about his feeling,
my ex said that 'dia masih sayang aku sebenarnya'.
My friend looks so afraid because of he told me that.
He even messaged me after that telling why he didn't want to tell me in the very beginning.
He also asked me not to tell my ex that he said it to me.

Should I happy?
Should I believe that?
Is that true?
Because that is the opposite words from my ex told me.
Dia bilang ke aku waktu kita putus kalau dia mungkin udah gak sayang aku lagi.
Or.. is that just a reason to break up easier?
DAMMIT!!
I'm so confused now.
I want to believe that what my friend said about him was true.
But, I see the fact not like that...
I saw that he is enjoying his days so much.
I felt like he got his freedom back and thanked for it.
Is his feeling not matter for him?
Did he think that the situation and condition around are more important than our feelings? huhuhu...
I wish I can ask this question to him.

arghhh... now I really regret why I said yes so quick that time!
Yeah.. now, it is too late! Nothing can happen anymore even that words were true.
urghhhhh...!!!
Guess where am I?
Changi International Airport...

I've been here since 6.00 am and now is 9.25 am. Fiuhhh...
I came from Melbourne and now I'm waiting for my next flight to Solo, my hometown.
I dunno what to do anymore so here I am, blogging. hahaha...

I'll tell you when I start this trip. wakakaka..
My flight this time is really the worse flight I've ever had.
Starting from yesterday...
My flight from Melbourne to Singapore was at 1.05 am at 21st November.
And you know what? I can still watched movies at 4pm at 20 November in Melbourne Central which is in city. The movie was new moon. I decided to watch it with my friends because I don't think I can make it in Indo. I know the movie will be so crowded in Indo because it's so popular. And I don't want to bother to queue along the way since morning in Indo cinemas. Moreover, there is no one I can ask to watch with cos most of my friends still get uni.

Yeah.. so after watching the movie like about 6.30, I thought I will go home.
But then, one of my friends that I went with, the one who brought the car and the one who took me to the aiport decided to stay in the city first to shop and eat with others first. There, I started to be panic. But everyone said it's ok, we will go back to clayton at 8.30pm and at 10pm we will go to the airport. But, the fact and I know it already.. we were late. I just got home like 9.30 and I haven't finished packing, haven't got shower. So I shower so fast, trying to pack everything while waiting my hair to be dried. And you know, I was sweating because the weather is so hot and I had a lot things to do that time. I felt like there was no point I got shower. hahaha...

And we left home like 10.15 at last... but I haven't checked in. Cos usually I always do online check-in so I don't need to be in the airport so early. But, this time I can't do it I don't know why. Luckily, we made it on time to the airport. The queue line for check-in is so long even the immigration and the gst refund. haha.. I need to claim the gst coz my friend in indo asked me to buy Iphone for him. But it didn't matter. The problem was I forgot to ask for window seat so I end up seating really in the middle middle. And you know what? I was surrounded by 'orang bawang' and the seat was in the back of the plane. Yeah.. really in the back, like 3 rows from the last seat. When I saw it, I automatically swearing (dalem hati kok, ga disebutin).. hahaha... And the worse part, I can't sleep if I don't sit in the window seat. So, I can't sleep well in the plane and my body now so painful because I can't move a lot in the plane. hahaha... Moreover, I forgot to bring my other wallet which contains my IDR and SGD and all of my Indonesian card. fiuhhh.... Next time I won't go watching movies with a lot of people.

The next disaster was... the plane was in turbulance situation for about 1 hour.
Can you imagine that? The plane was shaking and moving every time for 1 hour. I felt dizzy and want to puke already that time. Can't even sleep because of that condition in that time. Really lucky ya? I never feel turbulance before. And that 1 hour made my flight and my body more worse. Fortunately, the movie was good so I have something to do to spend the time.

I arrived in Singapore at 6am and just realized that my next flight is at 10.40pm. I was like wondering what should I do in the airport for 4 hours, even it is changi. haha.. Even my flight schedule hasn't been in the timetable monitor an hour ago. hahaha...
And... more problems were coming....
First, I got stomachache every 1 hour. So I need to go to toilet very often. *sighh...
Second, the Internet is so slow. I brought my laptop in the cabin so I can use it here cos it is wireless everywhere. That is the good part of changi airport. haha.. wireles is free everywhere. I don't know what to do anymore. Shopping already but don't feel want to buy something. haha.. So I choose to streaming amazing race. But... omg! It is so slow, it need like 20 minutes to buffer 1 video. huhuhuhu... so I'm blogging while I'm waiting the video is buffering. hehehe...
Third, I already miss Melbourne... I haven't even arrived Indo but I do miss Melbourne already. hahaha.. Am I weird?? ;p

So, those reasons enough to make me said that the flight this time is the worse flight I've ever had yeah? Hope there is no more flight like this or worse that this next time.

OK! Finally boarding time. hehe.. I need to go to toilet again first then I think I just go to my gate and streaming there. hahaha... I really can't live without my laptop ^-^
Wish me luck and wish I have the safe flight!
I don't feel wanna go home tomorrow.
I don't feel want to pack my things.
Three and a half months feel so long now.

Why?


Because I feel that I will be so lonely there.
Feel I will remember 'it' every time I'm alone.
I just want to stay here with my friends,
doing many activities together,
laughing together,
and when I feel sad, I know there is someone beside me,
so I won't feel alone.


I know my family and friends there are waiting for me as well,
but...
I just feel doesn't want to go there.


Maybe it reminds me to 'that' memories.
Memories that used to make me happy.
I got a worth experience from it,
learnt something from it,
and it made me maturer and tougher now.


And...
even it had been made me sad and cry.
I still want to keep that memories.
Deep inside my heart and my mind.
For future... for learning... for me...
Because it's precious.


But, now...
Trying not to think about that first.
Life must go on!
"So Sick"

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cause right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cause you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walking round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Crying over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Don't make me think about his smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio

Cause I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing he was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing he was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin' you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I really really miss him,
but,
one fact,
hard to confess but true.
He's not mine anymore!


So creative.. hohoho...


*source : Maria's blog (unessentials.blogspot.com)

“Armani,
which art in Hermes,
hallowed be thy Gucci.
Thy Cartier watch,
thy Prada bag,
on Rodeo,
as it is in Tiffany’s.
Give us this day our Gold MasterCard
and forgive us our overdraft
as we forgive those who decline our Visa,
lead us not into J.C. Penney
and deliver us from Sears.
And to pay for it all,
this we ask on this day …Ah MEN!”
I'm tired from doing assignments so I prefer writing this blog.
Kalau dipikir2 kok gak selesai2 ya assignment ku?
Rasanya udah bikin terus dr beberapa minggu yg lalu.
Project belum selesai. Exam blm belajar.
Pikiran jadi jenuh, masih ditambah pikiran2 hal lain.
Ditambah tadi dapet berita gak enak.
Salah kalau ada yg bilang enak masih kuliah gak ada beban and pikiran!
We do have! Everyone always have their own problems.
hahahaha... kok rasanya aku complain terus ya? :p
But, the good part, if I can finish and solve this semester, I will be free for 3 and a half months and I'm going back to Indo for long long holiday. hihi... :)

Tapi... (ada aja tapi-nya)
Sekarang...
Aku jadi ragu apa yang aku bayang2in dr dlu...
What will happen in Indo will happen for real now...
I doubt that!
Jadi takut and males juga pulang Indo gr2 itu.
Why?!
Because everything is changed now...

Why everything can change?
Why all plans are changed?
Why people changed?

Aku baru bener2 ngrasa akibat dari perubahan2 akhir2 ini.
Dan emang rasanya gak enak... hahahaha... Harus mikir lagi buat next step, next action.
Dan kenapa secepat ini berubahnya?
Aku jadi mikir apa usahaku selama ini jadi sia2?
Apa pembelaan yang aku berikan buat dia emang bener sia2?
Apa justru aku yang berubah makanya semuanya berubah?

Kayanya bener2 harus merenung and mikirin semuanya sungguh2. hahahaha...
Got it long long time ago from somewhere. haha.. Just forgot it already but want to share coz it's good and true... for me. Don't know if you think it's not true ^^

Di hadapan orang yang kau cintai,
musim dingin berubah menjadi musim semi yang indah.
Di hadapan orang yang kau sukai,
musim dingin tetap saja musim dingin hanya suasananya lebih indah sedikit.
Di hadapan orang yang kau cintai,
jantungmu tiba-tiba berdebar lebih cepat.
Di hadapan orang yang kau sukai,
kau hanya merasa senang dan gembira saja.
Apabila engkau melihat kepada mata orang yang kau cintai,
matamu berkaca-kaca.
Apabila engkau melihat kepada mata orang yang kau sukai,
engkay hanya tersenyum saja.
Di hadapan orang yang kau cintai,
kata-kata yang keluar berasal dari perasaan yang terdalam.
Di hadapan orang yang kau sukai,
kata-kata yang keluar hanya dari pikiran saja.
Jika orang yang kau cinta menangis,
engkaupun akan ikut menangis di sisinya.
Jika orang yang kau sukai menangis,
engkau hanya menghibur saja.
Perasaan cinta itu dimulai dari mata,
sedangkan rasa suka dimulai dari telinga.
Jadi jika kau mau berhenti menyukai seseorang cukup dengan menutup telinga.
Tapi apabila kau mencoba menutup matamu dari orang yang kau cintai,
cinta itu berubah menjadi tetesan air mata dan terus tinggal di hatimu dalam jarak waktu yang cukup lama.
"Tetapi selain rasa suka dan cinta... ada perasaan yang lebih mendalam... yaitu rasa 'SAYANG'
Rasa yang tidak hilang secepat rasa cinta.
Rasa yang tidak mudah berubah.
Perasaan yang dapat membuatmu berkorban untuk orang yang kamu sayangi.
Mau menderita demi kebahagiaan orang yang kamu sayangi.
Cinta ingin memiliki, tetapi sayang hanya ingin melihat orang yang disayanginya bahagia...
Walaupun harus kehilangan."
Jadi..
Siapa yang kalian 'sukai'?
Siapa yang kalian 'cintai'?
Siapa yang kalian 'sayangi'?

I just bought a red nail polish.
Hahaha... finally..
Actually I want it few months ago... feel like want to be different sometimes.
And I never try a bright nail polish too before, so I think it's ok.

I bought it when there is a VIP night in Chadstone few weeks ago. It means all shops ummm.. not all but most of them have discount for their items. Not big discount, only like about 10-30%. But, unfortunately there is no discount for the nail polish. haha.. But, the price is OK. Firstly, I want to buy MAC but then I tried to look at Revlon counter and it's not bad compare to the MAC one. And of course the price is so much different.. Half if I can say ;p
So I decided to buy the Revlon one. I used it the next day after I bought it. haha..



Not bad ya?


But, I got a lot of comments because of this.. bad and good comment.
My boyfriend said "Hiii... red! Looks naughty." huahahahaha...
One of my bestfriend, a guy, said "What happen with your nail? Is that nail polish? Red? OMG!"
Am I really a bad girl by using red nail polish or just he is too hyperbola?
Another comment from another friends... one said "Woww... the color is so sensual!"
but other said "The color is not suited at you or maybe because u never use the bright color before."
Ohh... even a guy said "Wah, red nail polish. Why don't u use black?"
--"

But the girls said "Wah... good color!"
So... whatever. haha.. I don't care.. I like it!!
I won't use it often tough, just sometimes. haha..
And I won't use it when I meet my boyfriend I think :p
Nama: Marcia

Umur: 19! huahaha...

Blood type: O

Height: 157 cm T-T

Warna kulit: putih kekuning2an.. I think

Panjang rambut: sepunggung


Self Phone

Nama ke-17 di hape: Boom (niat bgt gw ngitungin)

Sms ke-4 di hape dari: Ono

Isinya: "Lg sibuk asm ya? gw lg nyalon ni, meni pedi :p "

Ringtone yang dipake di hape: Sony Ericsson ringtone mboh dak tahu sing mana

Sms: "haciu"

Telepon: mksdnya?

Foto di wallpaper hape: gak ada gbr. haha...

Warna casing di hape: white

Sisa pulsa: Plan ma 3, jd ntar tinggal bayar.

Ponsel beli di: All phone, upgrade gak beli.. hehe


Wallet

Dompetmu merek: merk apa ya? tulisane sih ozozo ga ngerti deh..

Warna: Dark Brown

Beli di: di singapore di wallet shop

Yang disuka dari dompetmu: muat bnyk, ad tmpt foto, bentuk memanjang, kulitnya bagus, murah tp terlihat elegan. wakakakka...

Rencana ingin beli dompet baru: not yet

Yang ada di dompetmu: Cash, Debit cards, Debit Visa, IDs, metcard, credit card, photos, member card.

Uang "cash" yang ada di dompet: $17. haha...


Merk

Shampoo: Elseve, Loreal

Sabun: Shinzui

Sabun cuci muka: Ponds

Odol: Darlie

Bedak: MAC

Tv: bukan py gw....

Hape: Nokia E71

Sandal: macem2 haha...

Sepatu: macem2...

Tas: mostly no brand

Celana: jeans and short, merk macem2

Baju: various

Jam tangan: Gucci, Fossil, Morgan

9 barang yang ada di sekitar/dibawa/dipunya

1. Asus Laptop
2. HP
3. Dompet
4. Botol minum
5. Extra chewing gum
6. Ipod
7. External HD
8. Kertas2 berserakan
9. Indomie hahahaha...

Punya barang no 7 sejak: SMP

Temenmu yang punya barang persis no 1: Regina. persis sis sis sis.. haha... tp dia punya putih.

Barang no 3 beli di: Singapore

Merek barang no 5: Extra

Kapan beli barang no 1: dapet Juli kmrn

Harga barang no 9: 0,25/pc hihi...

Kalo gak bawa barang no 6: Y gpp,tp bosen ae

Warna barang no 4: tutup nya sih biru. hehe..

Segede apa barang no 2: segede Nokia E71

Yang suka barang no 8: gak adaaaaaa

Berani kehilangan barang no 7: jgn deh. mahal beli yg baru. hehe...

Kata-kata pertama yang loe ucapin kalo barang no 4 ilang: yah... beli botol lg deh.

kenapa beli barang no 9: cadangan klo ga ad makanan d rmh. hehe..

Beli barang no 2 dimana dan sama siapa: gak beli, dpt dr 3..

Barang no 4 mu mahal gak: not really

Mau minjemin barang no 5: gak deh, mendingan klo udh ambil jgn dibalikin. jijikkk.. haha...

Tidur kamu semalem: kira2 8 jam

Yang membangunkan kamu pagi ini: alarm hp

Kata-kata pertama yang kamu denger pagi ini apa dan dari suara siapa: dimana cia, maria.

Kata-kata pertama yang kamu ucapkan pagi ini: Hujan? apa skip aja ya? haha...

Yang bikin kamu tersenyum pagi ini: lupa. haha..

Harapan pertama hari ini: Seandainya group assignment HCI ku bukan mereka2 itu.. pasti ak niat msk kelas...

Yang dikorbankan pertama kali hari ini: gak msk tute HCI. hoho...

Kamu sudah berbohong hari ini: ummm... gak rasanya

Rencana kamu hari ini: walah.. hari ini udh mau slsai.. udh lewat malah, ini udh subuh. haha...

Weekend kemarin: ngapain ya? lupa ik... haha...

Terakhir hangout kapan? Sama siapa: few days ago rasane...

ketemu mantan: hahahaha... thn lalu

Sekarang lagi pengen pacaran: udh kok

Rencana cari pacar baru: gak

Kalo ternyata pacar kamu gay/lesbian: LOL, how can we date from the first time?

Suka terang apa gelap: both, depends on mood

Lebih suka ada ikatan apa nggak ada ikatan: ada

Terakhir.. keinginan yang ingin terwujud hari ini: bisa lgsg tdr hbs ini, ktmu n ngobrol sm regina nti siang, and semoga tugas ws2 and ws3 ku jalan... huhu...
Amin
hehehe... ^^

Good night :)
HAIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


I HATE IT !!!!!!!!!!!
These are some items that I wanted... for now.. haha..
can be increased tomorrow.. ;p
 
 ~ found it in korean online shop (I ordered already) ~

 ~ forever new, lipsy london ~
 
~ lipsy london, the second one, again.. found in online shop ~
 
~ forever new again.. haha.. ~
 
These shoes.. haha.. I don't know, I'm in the mood to buy a plain shoes. hehe... Besides, haven't got those colours for my collection. hehehe... ^^
Saw it in online shop in Indo, maybe I will order them when I go back to Indo. hehe...

Aaaaaa.... Hope can get all of them!! Hahaha.. ok, one by one, starting from now ;p
Accidentally open it in youtube...
WOW!!! Cool!!! Is that real? Unbelievable!!


With those many people?
Ckckcckckckck...
WOW WOW WOW!!!
OK..
At last I use looklet too...
I used polyvore as well before, but LOOKLET is more interesting because it uses the model/people already so u can see what the clothes looked like in the real body. hehehe... Eventough, there is still not many items there.

I knew this application few weeks ago and just use it few days ago.
FUN!! But danger!! haha...
Because I'm using it, I feel my shopping desire increase.
I even open the source of the dress itself and browsing for a long time.
Then as a result, I don't do my assignment and end-up browsing many dresses.
Even, I feel wanna buy some but they are too expensive. Damn!!

So, my suggestion... Don't open it when the school times, otherwise u won't do anything else.
Do it when holiday is coming.. hehehe... (I'm not sure I can do it or not ;p)

Here are some fashions that I made... hihi...

 
~ summer is coming in Australia, Melbourne esp. ~

I love the top. I don't know.. I like one shoulder shirt like that but not find a good one until now. haha... Unfortunately, because there is not much items yet so I can't find more items to use and even there is no thongs. haha.. You see the feet? Bare foot!! hoho... But it is ok in beach environment ^^
I love the dress!!! I searched for it in the Internet but can't find it. huhuhu... Am I too much? haha.. Love the necklace as well ^^

I love dogs!! Especially big dog... hahaha...





-- > 
Siberian Husky





Who can resist such as a cute puppy like in the picture in the left side??
Golden Retriever





I like German Sheperd as well. haha...
I like small dog as well, but not as much as I like the big one. hihi...
But, if you find a dog like pom in the picture below, who can resist? So cute ya? huhuhu... So I want to have pom as well someday. haha.. Husky, Golden and pom. Not bad right? hehe.. My friend, Maria has 2 poms as well, even now become 4 because they have puppies. They are so cute and good. hehe.. My uncle has 1 as well. uhhhh... I want dogs!! T-T


Sooner or later, I will have these dogs. For sure... I really want to have dog since I was a child but never happen until now. So sad.. 
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy...!!!
Finally I went to Giraffe Cafe last night ^^
It was a great day in a great cafe in a great time and with great people :)
I went there with Maria, Mia and Cicil. ohhh... it is a girls time. hihi..
It's been a long time since I hang-out with them last time.

Me, Maria and Cicil went to city around 6.30pm and arrive there like 7pm then meet up with Mia in Melbourne Central station. The cafe is near Melcen which is in between lt.Lonsdale and Elizabeth st.. Yeahh, it is a small road. Lucky we got a table because I'm afraid the cafe will be full coz of Friday nite. We got a big table actually, big enough for us which only 4 people. hehehehe...
The place is so homie and cozy. They provide many games for the customer so we can also play there.. We play UNO and JENGA...

The decoration is so unique. I don't have time to get all the unique and funny part because the cafe is so full last night and I got a little bit shy if wanna take a lot of picture. hihi...

The menu is divided into 2, main menu and dessert menu. We took a few time to have a look at the menu. Feel like wanna try all of them. hoho.. can't decide.
But, finally we made our choices...
I chose chicken lasagna and hot chocolate pudding for the dessert,
Cicil chose bacon carbonara with giraffe cheesecake,
Maria chose dumpling and sticky-date pudding for the dessert,
and Mia chose chicken risotto with tiramisu...
We chose different menu so we can try all of them ^^

And they are so delicious.. uhhh... We even said that we can't go there only once, we have to go again next time to try another menu. hihi...
But, I recommend if you don't eat much, 'ngafe' is better. hihi.. Means you only eat dessert or enjoying some drinks. They have some menus for coffee or chocolate (ice, hot, frappe, etc). Eat both the main and dessert will be so full. haha...

 
this is our meals ^^

And here are all the dessert... so yummy!!

Mia's tiramisu.. Cute yeah? hehe.. The taste is so ummm... nice. haha...

Cicil's cheesecake ^^
Maria's sticky date-pudding..
But I forgot to take a photo of my hot chocolate pudding. haha... Coz mine is out a little bit long than others, so when it came out we didn't care with the photos anymore. We just try try try and ate ate ate.. haha... But mine is also so good..
I love giraffe cafe. hehe... Besides, the price is OK for students. Not too expensive with the great food like that ^^
U know what? We stay there from 7.45 - 10.30pm. haha.. 
Ohh.. btw it opens until 11pm except Saturday I think. But it is closed on Sunday. So never ever come on Sunday...
Here I am... Alone... again... fiuhh...
I have nothing to do.. or actually I do, even many... but I pretend not to have one. haha..
I've chat with my best friend in Indo from a while, explored facebook until I am so BORED, browsed online-shops, did laundry, ate, watched so many videos in youtube, and finally I'm blogging now.
And I don't know what to do anymore... Sleep? Maybe it's a good idea but not now. Not sleepy yet.
Usually, I chat with my BF at this time because he is in Indo, so the time is basically different. It's 3 hours different for your information. hehe..

Yeah... But as I mentioned I'm alone now. Even since last week or maybe more, I felt this often. Why?
Because last week my BF was sick and not be able to online so I let him to sleep and have a rest. I don't want him got worse as well. It took a week for him to get himself well, I think.. I'm so happy that time because I can chat with him again. hohoho... Feel like kinda weird if I don't talk to him for even few days and of course miss him. hehehe... About 1 or 2 days after that, we got a serious conversation. It happened accidentally and he is the one who started it. I wouldn't tell what the conversation about because it's kind of privacy and I don't want him get mad of me because I share it in the Internet. hehehe... The point, I just want to share my feeling that time. I was so afraid and nervous. wakakakak... Was thinking about bad thing will happen to us and the topic was really danger. haha... We did talk so serious, we shared our feeling, what we want, what he wants, what I want, what we will be, and so on so on so on so on :)
But, I'm happy because after that it's all clear for him (oohh... it is him that confused and struggling about 'us' topic) :p
For me? I know this topic will be up someday but I don't expect it happened now means few days ago. hehehe...
but I'm happy because after that, we are still OK. hehe... Hope can be better tough.

The worst part is the day after, he had to vacuum from online again because he had to study for a test. He took Cisco training last month and will take the exam tomorrow. Arghhh... But, can't blame him tough. And I really give him 100% support for it even because of that I was alone again. haha..
And now, he is in another city in Indo to prepare for the test because the test is not available in his hometown. So, I was alone again... I feel something is missing because I don't talk to him much.
Is it called habit or what?? I can't imagine if I won't be able to talk to him someday because of certain reason like break-up? (amit amit). I will feel weird if it happens :(
This is also the reason why I was afraid when 'that' conversation happened.

Ohhh... You know what? Yesterday I went to airport to take one of my friend. He will go back to Indo for good. And... when I was in the airport I said to myself 'ahh... only-if I bring my passport so I can go back to Indo now.. Running from reality for a while and getting what I want and my happiness in Indo."
Crazy, huh? I think I am. hahaha...

Argghhhh...
Wish he was here so I can hug him...
Wish he can do his test tomorrow...
Wish him luck!
And wish he will come back to his hometown quickly so I can chat with him again... hahaha...

Kangen dia banget... huhu...
Got this video yesterday, just viewed it in facebook.
So I want to share it but unfortunately I can't upload the video here because it is not from youtube or something like that. It just from someone's video.
I give the link,here
Enjoy ^^
And maybe U can try someday... haha...
Just got home few hours ago...
Gave surprise for Maria
It's her birthday yesterday (in Melb time)


Happy 21st Birthday tayank...
(again).. haha... udh berapa kali ya nylametin nya? :p
So, here is the story.. We planned to give her a surprise but not sure when because she and us (me, Tom, Erick, Ivan, and another Ivan) have different event on 4th sept.
So, we decided to give the surprise in the 5th, exactly in the day. 
We planned to give her "ucapan" as usual as we can so she will think that we won't give any surprise.
And I think it worked, is it? haha...
The cake?! I was browsed facebooked like 3days ago and accidentally found someone's profile that full of cake. And I had a look and WOW!! hahaha.. it's amazing. So I contacted her and asked her is it possible to get a cake for the day, but because of that time is already midnight so there was no reply.
So I asked my friend, Ivan Yang, to contact her in the morning and we did...!! YAYYYY!!
We got the cake on time, even too early.
I request the cake with the soft color because Maria likes soft color like creme, gold, bronze. hehe.. And the shoe is gold. Thanks for Kak Evi for this. She really made it, the gold shoe.
Maria said 'nice color' when she look at the cake and the shoe. hehe...
I think you guys are confused with the meaning of shoe in the cake. Here, I give u the picture of the cake...

 
NB: Photo is taken from cookinginmelb.blogspot.com (the cake maker) 
What a great cake, ya?
So yeah...
We did the surprise just few hours ago, right at 11.55 before her birthday is over.
Hope she really got the surprise and happy...
I think she is... She has to!! haha...
I remembered she said 'Wow.. thank you guys. I don't expect you guys will give me a cake' haha...
We will not forget to give u a cake of course. Especially this time is 21st birthday..^^
But we all are so tired now... I think she got home and go sleep directly because I can see her face is so tired as well and so sleepy of course. It's like 1.00 when we got back home. haha...
But, worth enough if I remember that she was happy.
And I'm feel happy and excited too because...
I don't know. Just feel that way..
Maybe if you do something even not much and the person likes it, it will feel so great, isn't it? hehe..
Just read this news this evening.
I read it in the Indonesian newspaper online but it is from dailymail.co.uk originally.
I will just paste the news here.

At first glimpse it looks like any other glacier you might find in the freezing Arctic wastes of Norway.
But on closer inspection an eerie face is depicted in the melting ice wall that appears to be crying a river of tears. The forlorn-looking 'Mother Nature' figure appeared to locals during a thaw, with the melting ice and snow falling towards the sea below.
The striking image of the Austfonna ice cap, located on Nordaustlandet in the Svalbard archipelago, would seem certain to be heavily used by environmentalists protesting against climate change.


Great instrument ya?
If I listen to it.. make me feel so relax and peace. haha...

A good stress medicine ;p
Found some design and decoration for house, apartment, room, bathroom, garden, etc.
Taken from desiretoinspire.blogspot.com



good way to arrange the picture ^^

cool shelf, isn't it?







Wish that I have a wardrobe like that in my room now. haha... I will have it for sure in my future house ;p




Some ideas for my future apartment. haha...



Cool design for a storage shelf, rite? hoho..
Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh......!!!!!

Rasanya pengen teriak...
Di tempat yg sepi and gak ada sapa2 jadi gak bakal malu walaupun aku teriak sekenceng apapun.
Fiuhhhh...!!!

Seandainya... bisa.
Only-if...
Banyak banget kata2 seandainya ini di otakku sekarang ini.

Seandainya kuliah gak ada tugas.. exam aja deh, rela kok belajar doang buat exam,
no need to do all the assignments. Will be so much better! :(
Seandainya dia ada di sini... T_T
Seandainya kita bisa ngatur 1hari ada berapa jam semau kita...
Seandainya di dunia ini cuma ada 1 negara dan 1 kota...
Seandainya tutorial class for HCI (Human Computer Interaction)-ku bisa dipindahin ke jam 3...
Seandainya kelas nya gak full...
Seandainya aku bisa lulus tahun ini... :(
Seandainya aku dapet kerja di tempat yang aku mau...
Seandainya cari kerja itu gampang...
Seandainya waktu bisa diputar ulang...
Seandainya aku kurusan... :p
Seandainya housemate2-ku gak pindah or for good... T-T
Seandainya otak manusia itu seperti komputer, bisa delete data and masukin data sewaktu2...
Seandainya hati dan perasaan bisa diatur segampang ngatur kamar...
Seandainya dolar Australia turun...
Seandainya ada pohon uang... :)
Seandainya Indo kaya Melbourne... haha... (IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, I KNOW...)
Seandainya I can say what I want.. to ...
'Only-if...'

Gak bakal ada habisnya deh kata seandainya itu...
Aku yakin pasti orang lain juga punya kalimat2 seandainya versi mereka sendiri.
Dasar emang sifat manusia yang gak pernah puas.. hahaha...
Tapi apa salahnya sih punya keinginan dan harapan? yg walaupun sometimes kita tahu itu gak mungkin terjadi. Never ever...

Ok, this is one of the effect because I can't sleep in the middle of... midnight?!
Jadi ngelantur... suka mikir yang aneh2... kepengin yang aneh2... kepikiran yang aneh2...
doing something yang aneh2 juga... ya kaya bikin blog ini nih. wakakakak...
Yahhh... tapi at least nulis blog ini bikin mataku sedikit mengantuk.
Berhubung tadinya aku pikir bakal telpon sampe jam 11-an jd langsung tidur habis itu.
Ehhh ternyata... 10.30 aja udah slsai tel-nya. Cupu sih yg ditelpon... ngantuk mulu.
Nah tambah 1 lagi deh...
Seandainya dia itu tidurnya pagi... :p (peace buat yang kerasa.. haha.. just kidding.. jangan dimasukin ke hati ya ^^)
So berhubung telponnya selesai lebih cepat dari yang diperkirakan jadinya belum ngantuk deh jadi buka laptop lagi. Browsing2, fb-ing, etc sampe akhirnya nulis blog ini soalnya gak tahu lagi mau ngapain. hehehe...

And it's good, I'm getting sleepy now..
Going to bed then...
Night >.<
Now, I become so naive!
I become so 'like other people' !!

I hope I can turn back the time and stop it... T_T
So tired... Woke up at 7.30 this morning, just sleep for 4hrs, had difficult exam, starving in the exam and even after the exam, but a little bit happy because I finished my exam and had a good time with my friends then we watched transformers 2, got home at 9.30pm, packed all the stuff because I'm going back to Indo tomorrow and going to move room too. So have to pack all of the things.
So u can imagine how tired I am... Even, I haven't finished now.
Got headache already, and maybe lack of blood coz I'm getting my period too so my head is really spinning. But still OK!

Then..
Talked to him... only for few minutes because the clock is already 1.10am,
and he made me angry.
Just few words from him and that's all, words that make me mad...
I know he didn't mean that. I know that is only for joking around like usual.
But, I just want to hear few sentences that can make me happy, relax, and enjoy our conversation.
Maybe because I'm so tired too so I become so sensitive..
And because I think that I won't be able to talk to him for 3 days and I miss him so I want to talk to him first...
I know it's always me that misses him every time.
I know he misses me too (or not? d*mn),
but I know he is not a kind of person that will say it easily.
That's why.. sometimes I feel that if he suddenly said that kind of things, it means that he really really meant it. But that..
Sometimes, I want to hear that words often. hux...

So we ended up angry each other,
I'm not sure he is angry or not...
But I'm sure he also pissed off.
I know I'm wrong too.. but... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
So, I'm off.. he's off. DONE!

GREAT! Really make my day! Huhhhh....
And it's 3.10 am, haven't slept. Got a flight tomorrow evening, still have to clean up my room for moving room and now....
not sure whether I can sleep or not because of this fight.
And he didn't text me. Ok... I don't know.
Tired... and got a bad headache.
Here I am..

In the middle of midnight... more than midnight actually.
Want to sleep but still have so many things in my mind :(
Starting from exam, moving room, studying, him, holiday, next semester, etc.

Going to face exam in 11 days.
Trying to understand the 'IP routing table, MRTG, ICMP, SNMP, DHCP, DNS, RMON, TCP, etc' and all of their bullshit. huahaha... Not bullshit actually, sometimes it is useful too... for people who like networking so much. And that will definitely not me !!!! fiuhhhh...
Even, still have 2 more subjects to study beside that.

Disturbed by body problem too..
U should know what a main problem that a girl/woman is about her body..!!
Yuppp.. weight problem!
Can't make my weight scale go down...
That ruins my plan to enjoy eating in next holiday. GREAT.

- then -

Missing him so much... but,
think I got something wrong inside my head.
I feel something different about him lately,
after he got back his internet connection few days ago...
And now, in this situation that I can't chat with him as much as before because I have to study,
feel that he doesn't have 'that' passion to chat with me, and yeah... we didn't chat as much as before.
He is not smiling as much as before too,
and... dunno, somehow I just feel something is not right.
Does he have a problem? Does something happen to his life?
Or is it just the effect because of those problems that disturbing me?
Hope that's true, hope it's only my bad feeling T-T

Hope that he can be here now,
accompany me studying,
hug me and says 'Nothing is wrong, everything is OK'.
But, I know.. that's only hope.

- now and later-

Trying to ignore all of those problems and the cold weather now...
Trying to leave it until exam is finished...
Trying to study seriously tomorrow and so on...
Trying to understand and remember those words printed in the lecture slides too...
And the most important now,
trying to sleep well tonight,
trying not to bother anything at the moment...

Good night !!
And wish me luck... ^^

Hahahaha... Do you imagine that there is a font conference?
Yesss... font like font in Microsoft Word. Many types of fonts...

If you can't imagine it, have a look on this video.



Now you got it? haha... Not important, doesn't make sense but funny enough, right??!! ^^
Want to see your face when u r going to work?

Sooooo cuuuttttteeeee....!!!!













Aren't they so cute? hihihihi...