Well, first I can say that my post this time is a little bit not important but I can't help writing it because the topic made me thinking a lot since yesterday.

The story began when my friends and I went out for dinner yesterday. There were 6 of us, 3 men and 3 women. As usual, we talked and shared when we had our dinner. First, we just talked general topics like results that coming up soon, movies, plan for the rest of our holiday and there... we started to talk about woman. One of my boy friends then asked us who the prettiest woman in Melbourne is. Few answers and opinions were out of our mouth. Each of us had different answer. From this topic, I don't know how, they started to analyse ourselves. The men analysed the women and gave their opinions about us. I love to have a conversation like this but when I heard their (only 2 of them actually) opinion about me and about woman then I started not like this conversation. It was not like I was too picky or moody but I was... urghhh! I can't even find a proper word to express my feelings.

The boys said that between three of the girls there with us which were me and two of my friends, we were all different. And of course we are different, no one in this world can be exactly the same between each other. So, they said one of my friends which is my best friend was the pretty one. The other girl was the sexy one and me was the cute one. Grrrr... I never feel offended until now because of the 'cute' word. I already used to it as well but since yesterday I was thinking and damn... I feel offended. I feel inferior. I guess it's because of I was there with my friends and I was compared to them. I realize that I was not pretty or hot at all and I know that they are pretty. But somehow, I still feel sad because of that. I don't want to be called cute anymore. It's better not to be called anything rather than cute when you are with your pretty and hot friends. Maybe you can't imagine what it feels. If you are a guy, just imagine that you are with two of your friends having dinner together with your female friends and then suddenly they say, 'Woowww... your friend A is really handsome/good looking, and the other one is gentle/mainly... but don't be sad you are cute.' Hah! Can you imagine? hahahahahaha.... Maybe that is too hyperbole because cute is usually for girl but there are cute boys. --"

So just pretend that you are the cute one and you will know my feeling. The other thing is... after that my boy friends continue saying, "I will choose a pretty woman as my girlfriend in the first place, then the hot one and the cute one for the last." Huh! I tried not to feel sad but I couldn't help it. huhuhu... That time, in my mind, I hoped that not every man in this world has the same preference like my friends or I am going to be screwed. hahahaha... Is that too much? I concerned about it, doesn't mean that I am jealous of them or want to be called hot or sexy. And actually, what is pretty and hot looked like? Is it like Megan Fox? Or Jennifer Love Hewitt? Or Scarlett Johansson?

I know it clearly that I won't be able to be like them. I don't have the look and the body either. But, pretty? Everyone wants to be pretty. I wish I can be the one later on. I will try. LOL! I wonder that if a girl has the brain, has the attitude, has the inner beauty, can she be the pretty one? Or not? Fiuhhh... It's true that people say beauty is pain and no pain no gain. I guess I have to put more efforts to be (nearly) pretty or at least not cute anymore. And somehow I feel like I am still a child when they say I'm cute. But, when I told my mom about my feeling, she said that the place of the origin is matter. She said, "It depends on who said that, if they come from Jakarta, then the pretty one will be those who use make up because almost all girls in Jakarta wear make up. So, just learn how to use make up. Don't feel offended just because of that. You are sweet and elegant when you stay still."

Is that true? I wonder what does "You are sweet and elegant when you stay still" mean? Does it mean when I start to talk and move I am not sweet and elegant anymore? hahahaha... But, I don't really believe if it's my mom who said that I am pretty or sweet or elegant, because... she is my mother. No mother in this world will say her children are ugly or bad. But, anyway she lightened my day by saying that :)
Thanks mom... You are still the best of the best for me. hehehehe...

- pic 1 is taken from here
- pic 2 is taken from here
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