Life is getting so depressing for me at the moment.

Doing nothing is suffering for sure.

Maybe I am crazy, but for now, I can't wait to go back to Indo.

I booked my seat yesterday from my 1-year return ticket, and it will be next month.

Sounds so close, but for me it's like 100 years.

Sad? Of course. I will leave my friends here and leave what I've been familiar with in the past 6 years... ohhh almost 7 actually.

But I believe this is the best for me now, I need change, I need new environment, I need to find my passion, I need my best friends and of course my boyfriend.

Besides excited, I am scared too. Deep down in my heart, I am afraid that if I can't do well when I am back there. What if I can't find any job? 

What if I find a job that I don't like again? 

What if I don't like the environment in the end?

What if I can't stand the traffic and the country itself?

I really want to start and open something that I like but everything is not that easy.

I am confused too if I should stay in my hometown or really move to Jakarta.

Either way, I wish I can go back now or even few months earlier cos I feel I am wasting my time here by doing nothing. In Indo, everything is much easier especially to start something new.

However, one day, I still hope that I can go back to Melbourne as I love this city so much.

Even tho Indonesia is my birth country, living in a country that follows rules where everything is so clear and organised is beyond everything.

You find peace which you can't get in Indo.

Anyway, that's it for now. Looking forward to it next month.